Terrible Mom?

Am I a terrible mom because I refused a sucker? I completely let myself feel that way for a moment today. I dragged myself out of the house this morning because if I didn't Jasper and I would still be sitting on the couch in our pajamas watching Cars 2 for the fourth time today. I told myself we were just going to walk to the bank to get some fresh air. I always tell myself we are going to walk because if I admit to myself that I am going for a run I never leave. We ended up running, stopping at the park, running to the bank, and then stopping for a cookie at our local coffee shop. (All in moderation, right?)The morning sounds great, and it was.  But when we stopped at the bank, I kindly refused the sucker that the lady offered to Jasper. Jasper never even noticed, but this lady gave me a look of death like I was the worst mom in the world, or at least that I was some mom that never allows her child to eat an ounce of sugar. So I quickly told her that last time we got a sucker from the bank we were on a bike ride, and Jasper wanted the sucker so badly that he cried all the way home. I said thank you and was on my way. I did not want Jasper crying all the way home, and I did not have the energy to sit and wipe his sticky hands twenty-five times. Many days we do have suckers, and Jasper loves it and is a completely sticky mess, but not today.If there is one thing I am learning about parenting, it is all about balance.  We all need to try to not be so quick to judge another one's parenting choices. Just last weekend you could have seen us, Trevor, Jasper and I, at the apple orchard and think that we were the perfect family. We were laughing, picking apples, eating them right from the tree, taking pictures, and holding hands. We had so much fun! Or you could have seen us three hours later that night at a restaurant eating dinner after way too many stops along the way for Jasper. He had lost it, hungry and tired, and it was all our fault because we had asked way too much of him. But we were too far in at that point, already having ordered our food. We had to stick it out. Jasper cried and cried. I think the hostess must of saw us coming because luckily they had sat us at the back of the restaurant...we were labeled the family that couldn't keep their child under control. We tried everything, and I mean everything until I finally pulled my magical iPhone out of my purse and asked Jasper if he would like to play his games. Yes, I am one of those parents. And I have to admit, I was one of those people that judged parents horribly for allowing their children to play video games and iPhones at a restaurant during dinner. Because what I thought is that they always allowed that. I went to the extreme thinking that their child would never learn how to socialize and they were not taught how to behave. I never understood that it was just a moment, one moment among many for those parents. The iPhone gave us five minutes to scarf down our food so we could get out of there before Jasper had another meltdown. I got out of there as fast as I could and left Trevor with the bill. And then outside, Jasper and I watched the rain and he told me all about it.I am learning not to judge others quite so quickly, knowing that they may have had their great moment just hours before. And I am learning that some meltdowns call for a teaching moment with Jasper, and some meltdowns we just have to survive.  I also need to not be so hard on myself when we do have a lazy morning, and be proud of myself when we finger paint or go to the park.A few other things I am learning as I am now a parent of a toddler...* I wish I knew how to stick to a schedule, it would be much easier.  But, I know this will never happen.* Our days go so much smoother when we get out of the house and do something in the morning.  We are really going to struggle with this throughout the winter, so please, if you have any ideas of indoor activities to do with a toddler let me know.  Whether it is something we can do at home, or go out and do.* That I don't quite have the discipline thing down even though I have watched too many episodes of Super Nanny.  We haven't had to discipline much yet other than telling him, "NO" and "That's bad", but the few times I have sat him on a chair, he enjoys it and wants to do it again.  He is way too smart.* I will never be one that can work at night after he goes to bed, so I must find a way to get my work done throughout the day.  I have tried and tried to work at night, but every time I get Jasper to bed I just crash.  I am no longer mentally capable of creating or even emailing after 9:30 PM.  Call me old, but I just cannot do it.* He is so darn smart!  He listens to everything!  We definitely need to start watching more of what we say.Here are some pictures from our wonderful time at the apple orchard.  And if anybody is interested, I would love to do a family session at an apple orchard...wouldn't that be fun?!See...perfect family, right?  Too bad I don't have any pictures from our adventures at dinner.It's hard work picking apples!Jasper took bites out of a lot of apples!  They were delicious.  I baked this apple oatmeal crisp this weekend, and it is amazing!  We will definitely be making it a few times this Fall.  I cut the white sugar in half and it was still plenty sweet.Telling us a BIG story.He had to count how many apples we picked.And he LOVES pumpkins!  Hoping to do more Fall activities this coming weekend because our October is so busy!And speaking of being a couch potato...if we do choose to have a lazy day this is where Jasper is relaxing.  We found this recliner at a garage sale last week for $10!  He is in love with it, and I am too!