Baby Girl

Two weeks ago, we found out that we are having a baby girl!  A girl...in this sea of boys that is my family, we are having a girl!  It has taken a full two weeks for it to sink in, and I still don't think it will quite sink in until I meet her, hold her, and put something pink on her.I know boys; I always say that I wish I would have understood boys in middle school the way I do now because life would have been so much easier and much less dramatic.  I am daily surrounded by boys; it's usually me along with my 5 brothers, my dad, my husband, my son, and our three boy dogs!  It's not always easy being the only girl around (sister, please move home), but at the same time it is wonderful.  I know each one of those boys would do absolutely anything for me if I really needed and would protect me above all else.  So, as much as we need a girl around, I am definitely a little nervous with exactly what to do with a girl.The month before we found out the gender, I began to think more and more about it.  I did not want to dwell on something that I had no control over, but it was infecting my every thought.   I've always wanted a girl, and I only need just one.  We want more than two kids, so I knew if this baby was a boy, we would still hopefully get the chance to have our baby girl.  But I also knew the pressure would build!I tried to not let my thoughts go there, to the fact that I am no longer experiencing the amazing thing that is a mother-daughter relationship, but they went there.  I know I have to switch roles to have this relationship again in this lifetime, but I wanted it so badly.  I didn't want to go through this long life without having that special bond ever again.  I couldn't say these words out loud, not even to Trevor, until I read this, at the most perfect time for me, in Claire Bidwell Smith's, The Rules of Inheritance.

She (her mother) kept up my baby book until the year she dies, recording not just my birth weight and first words but the date I got my braces off, my first period, my first official date (Ben Holcombe, tenth grade).  A baby book will end up being the only thing I buy my baby too.  And I choose a think one with extra blank pages for me to record those extra firsts on.

I buy it in blue because I am sure that I am having a boy.  If only because I want a girl so badly that it seems like it would be too good to actually get one.  After all these years it seems impossible that I could actually have that mother-daughter relationship again, that I could, in a way, have her back.

I've been let down so many times now.

As soon as I read these words, I knew she had said what I was feeling better than I ever could have myself.  She pin pointed exactly why I couldn't get the thought of a baby girl out of my head, but why I kept saying, "Of course it will be a boy."  I truly thought it would be too good to actually get one.It still seems as if it is too good to be true, but I am going to have a daughter.  I will get to braid her hair, buy her a special locket someday, take her shopping, and tell her that boys just aren't that great.  Through each tiny mother-daughter moment, and every time I tell her, "Pretty is as pretty does,"  I will have a small piece of my mom back because she first taught me.  I know she would be so very happy.The day we found out that baby #2 was a girl, our neighbors threw the greatest gender reveal party for our family and friends!  It made the whole day that much more exciting and special for us!  It was a true celebration!Thanks to Lucetta's Legacy for the delicious cake pops and cake!  Yum!We all had to wear pink or blue depending on whether we thought the baby was a girl or a boy.  Trevor's mom had the honor of cutting the cake to reveal the gender because she wore the craziest gender specific outfit!Thank you so much, Kelly, for all the hard work you put into helping us celebrate!  It means the world to us.